Sunday, March 3, 2013

Paleo. What's the deal-eo?

I'm gonna be a paleo. What the hell is thateo?

I'm done. I'm going to stop that now. deep breath.

Paleo - it's an abbreviation for paleolithic. The paleolithic period is the period when the human race began it's never ending quest for bigger and better. One of the "advances" (the one applicable to this particular blog) was food. In my little head that moment went something like this:

I don't know why neither of them have nipples. 

A paleo lifestyle is the idea that our bodies should be used and nourished according to that period of time prior to when we put cheese on everything and fried it. then laid around rubbing our giant fat belly's which we have named Karl. so that we can sob DAMN YOU KARL!! in the throws of a mystery belly ache. I'm willing to acknowledge that I might be the only one who does that.

Back to the point, there are two parts. Diet and Exercise. As well as a basic principle for both, feed your body what it was meant to digest and use your body for what it was meant to do. A horrible comparison will follow this sentence. Put gas in your car and drive it. Don't pour honey in the tank and hope it can dance.

Paleo Diet: Here I will insert a link to a website that has all the information I don't feel like typing. aforementioned link click on these magical blue words and be whisked away to a website listing all the foods you can have and all the foods you can't. I assume. I don't know for sure. I really just kind of perused the site. I don't want to go into this huge lifestyle change all knowledgeable and stuff or I'll talk myself out of it. It will be a lot more fun to discover insurmountable obstacles as I stumble my way through it.

Paleo Exercise: Here I will insert a link to a website that has all the information I don't feel like typing and as I'm sure you have caught on it is also full of information I do not know.
How the Cavemen kept so trim click on these magical blue words and BAM! Holy! Stop! I'm not even kidding you. Did you see the bold print on this site? It says week 1: Hell week. I'm totally doing this. You had me at hell website, you had me at hell.

I have no idea what hell week entails or how many weeks it entails or even if we get to light things on fire. I do know I'm in. My alarm is set for 7am. My ringtone is "screaming baby" to insure that I jump up ready to punch something. And that is when I attempt Paleo. I just realised I'm hoping for progression by using regression. I guess technically if I started walking backwards right now I would eventually be in front of myself........

Thank you The Ultimate Paleo Guide and crossfit anaerobic inc for being you.

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