Friday, March 8, 2013

Ain't that the truth

I think it takes a charitable person to set aside the time and patience required to undertake a fairly significant job while working beside the "less-abled". I built a shed with my older brother Matt. I call him Mashu. He lost his hands in an accident in 1998.

Before you make any assumptions Mashu is the charitable one I am the lesser-abled, my disability is that I'm a Moron. Mashu was extremely patient, although several times I heard him mutter "she's a g** d*** imbecile." Have you ever heard someone in quiet anger spit out the words "Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey"? If they are forced to remind you enough times it starts to sound threatening...
To Mashu's surprise and relief we did finally get the shed built, and before I continue I have a few words for the manufacturer. The ad mentioned words like quick and easy as it pertains to assembly. To that I say I'd like to quick and easy ram my foot up your @$$. Don't fret I will be soft and gingerly in the same manner your instructions were clear and concise.

See how I hold the camera steady while he struggles with the roof? What would he do without me. Certainly swear less....

A list of Mashu-isms shared during contruction

  • A screwdriver? Are you an idiot? Grab the drill.....the loud spinny thing
  • You weren't holding the wall up?! Then what the hell were you doing?
  • How are you off by 2 inches?
  • If the post is in why are you still hammering it? How long has the post been in?
  • You're leaning on it? I was trying to lift it
  • You threw the drill bit? I said we were done with that part of the instructions not with that part of the drill. Even then, why would you throw it?
  • Did you just kill a bee with the mallet?
  • Not moral support! actual support Stacy. Hold it up!
  • Of course the doors are necessary
  • The bee's are not attracted to my honey pants!! I'm not wearing honey pants these are work bibs. Just shut up for a minute.
It was nice spending the day with Mashu, and Gwen loves her new home.

I've been all smiles since we finished. Until G-Dilly asked if I would spend the night at her new house and I heard myself say "of course" Oh my good lord in heaven I just created a situation where I would have to spend the night on concrete. I can't do it. I'm too old and brittle. I've got to burn this mother down.......

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