Monday, July 14, 2014

52 Weeks, 52 Projects

I know! That title is intense! A project every week for 52 weeks would be a productive year. Hush now child. I know what you're thinking. Don't go feeling bad that you have already scoffed at the very idea of this being accomplished. I have no faith in me either. This blog may very well be renamed "51 failures, 673 naps, and one load of laundry that was washed, dried, and mostly put away" If there is one thing I have done well my whole life, it's almost never finishing anything sometimes. Cause I've sort of done that before soon. Ya follow me? So 52 weeks, 52 projects. I'm excited. You're excited. Everyone is excited. I could totally do this. A week is a long time and when you dial it in and think about it in terms of one little project over one long week, I'm probably already doing that anyways right?

If you are anything like my boyfriend you are probably thinking "Why the hell? Can nothing be simple in your world?" Here's the deal. Lately my stress level has been a little elevated. In the way Everest is a little elevated. In fact, on many occasions only Tibetan Sherpas are capable of traveling to the height my stress levels have reached. I might be exaggerating just a little bit, but mostly I'm not. I've decided that there are a few things. Simple things. That I can do to help with my stress. Because nothing relieves a mofo's stress like taking on a massive amount of work for absolutely no reason and then setting unrealistic deadlines. Once you think about it, it's really not that hard to understand. In a strange way setting such an ostentatious goal will force me to take care of and manage many of the things that stress me out. And I'll feel busy and useful and for me that is strangely relaxing.

1. I want to get organized! We moved in to this house on October of 2012. We are still not fully moved in. We are mostly moved in, but not fully. In every room in this house there are random things that I'm "going to do later." These tasks vary from hanging a picture or curtains, to fixing or replacing a wobbly knob or fixture, to sort through a box or drawer of random misc junk, etc, etc. I want to stop postponing all of these tasks and go from "later..." to "now!" Some of my 52 projects will be this boring. I'll apologize for that now. Just keep in mind that often it's the boring items on the to-do list that are the most rewarding to cross off.

2. I want to have fun with the kids! More often than not I get distracted from my chores because I suddenly explode with the need to do something fun with the kids. It goes something like this.
Me: We need to clean up the garage
Kids: whine, complain, whine, complain, finally acquiesce.
Me: Is that a kiddie pool? I didn't know we still had that. we should fill it full of pudding and see who can eat the most the fastest.
Kids: Yes
Me: That would take a lot of pudding
Kids: The store has a lot of pudding
Me: Find my keys we're going to the store!!
Some of my 52 projects might be new and interesting ways to do ridiculous sh*t with your kids that sets a very bad example of how to choose appropriate activities

3. I want to create! I have a huge imagination and a need to see these fantastical ideas come to fruition. I'll happily take a DIY chair that you can't sit in because it won't hold more than two pounds but I love it cause I built it myself over a sweet leather recliner you can buy at a furniture store. As long as I can have both. Which is actually very reasonable, because I have to have somewhere to sit while I fondly admire my chair I built without any instructions from stuff I found when I took apart a perfectly good chair. I can't be the only one who feels this way. The biggest problem with my need to create is I don't know how to create anything. When it comes to talent in this area mine is about as abundant as cherries on a cactus. Which is to say it's not even plausible. Maybe if there was some sort of lab experiment gone awry I would suddenly be brimming with ability. But it would have to be a weird experiment to begin with and then gone awry from there. Horribly awry. Investigators may never understand what happened type of gone awry. Short story long, I have no talent. But I have one thing people with talent also have but don't necessarily need, PINTEREST!!! And I have family and friends who are willing to help me as long as I pester them incessantly for three days straight and refuse to stop until they bend to my will. I think they secretly like being a part of my shenanigans because they enjoy calling me an idiot and watching me fail miserably at simple tasks. Some of my 52 projects will be of this nature. These, I think will be the funnest of all the projects slated.

and finally,

At least one of my projects will be a secret passageway in my house. A revolving bookcase activated with a lever, perhaps an inconspicuous candlestick. My dedication to having my very own secret passageway is unrivaled. Never before and never again will you witness such a misguided passion for nonsense as my passion to spend both time and money recreating the architectural design genius of Scooby Doo.


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